So I haven’t blogged lately BUT I was gone far far away on holidays. Ok not really but I was camping with the kids 5 minutes down the road for 2 weeks. We had a great time , lots of fun but not exactly a relaxing vacation. That’s ok though. The kids LOVED having their friends come stay with us and we spent alot of hrs on the beach when the weather was nice. John was off for some of the time and then on 2 seperate days a group of ladies came out for the afternoon on the beach.Ryker was pretty good which was my biggest concern . This is the hardest age to camp with them.
I came home weighing exactly what I did when I left YAY!!!! Not that I am happy with that weight but last yr I gained 5 pounds on EVERY camping trip I took. I am still 16 pounds heavier than I was a yr ago but I am working at it. Got back into working out in the last week and am starting to go to a ladies workout 2x a week here in town. Just a group of ladies with no instructor doing some circuits. I let Jillian kick my A$$ again today too. It felt GREAT. I have definitely been a grumpy mommy lately and sometime just going for a walk helps me have a better attitude.
I am so thankful to my hubby on this father’s day. So many times I want to think on the negative and all the things I think he doesn’t do or doesn’t say but I know he loves me and our kids and shows us in so many ways everyday. Just the fact that he goes to work everyday with the pain he is in shows how much he loves us. The love we have amazes me some days. It is hard to picture anyone being able to love each other the way we do.
I find Father’s Day hard since my dad passed away. I wish I could give him one last phone call to say I love you . So many regrets 😦 Wish I had invited him to my wedding instead of being angry at him . I was watching a wedding show the other day feeling all sad because I have never even tried on a wedding dress and feel like I missed out but I think on of the things that makes me sad is that I never walked down the aisle on my dad’s arm. Regardless of all his MANY issues I loved him so very much and still miss him like crazy. I can still hear him saying ” Jim you little shit”. I try not to let my feelings make father’s day sad for the rest of my family. I want my children to rejoice in their father today and not worry about mommy being sad.
Stayed exactly the same this week. I was really surprised that it didn’t show a gain . I made french fries for the first time in months last night and doused them in a good portion of salt too. I was quite afraid of what that would show on the scale this morning. On the plus side I was alot more active this week , going for walks and bike rides a few times.
I weighed in again this morning , even though I REALLY didn’t want to. I was up 2lbs. I know I didn’t eat the greatest so I wasn’t surprised . My body is doing some weird stuff too . The scale is actually showing a difference of up to 5 pounds from one day to the next. Well it’s a another day and I just can’t give up anymore.
Well thankfully the scale didn’t show any worse ! I am up .5 of a pound. I honestly expected it with having family up for 5 days .After having cinnamon buns , apple crisp and a blueberry cake in the last 7 days I was a little afraid of what the scale was going to show. Next week – back to the 1oo’s !!!!!!
I decided to only let myself weigh in once a week , every wednesday morning. Well I got back at it this week. Didn’t work out like I should have but I did really watch my food intake. The results : I weighted in at 200.4 that is a loss of 3.4 lbs this week. WOOHOO!!!! Hopefully I will be back in the ones soon. I was a little worried because I have been nauseous with awful heartburn for the past 4 days. The only time I feel better is when I am munching on something and then 1/2 hr later I am back to feeling sick. I KNOW I am not pregnant but I tell ya if I would think I was if I didn’t know better. Hopefully this will pass soon.
Yeah I know , I don’t blog anymore. Faceb00k is just so much easier and quicker too. Another issue is really that I am feeling pretty low with myself and therefore don’t have a lot that I want to share. The scale is slowly creeping up a pound at a time and as of this morning I have gained back 16 lbs since last July. No need to do the math yourself , the scale read 203.8 this morning. UGH!!!! I am SOOOOOO disappointed in myself. It’s like a rollercoaster that I just can’t get off of. I know the problem , I am fully aware of the fact that I turn to food when I am emotional about ANYTHING. I let myself not really care anymore , the “new” me had gotten to be old news. It became hard so I quit. That really is the truth. So now it’s time to wipe away the tears , face the scale and get back at it. My first goal is to get back into the 100’s. So I am going to blog about this for ME ! . Not for anyone else but to keep me accountable to myself , to remember the journey .Today is a new day !
Even though I haven’t been posting I have been on here alot lately. I am slightly addicted to reading homeschooling blogs.I can see where my priorities are by the blogs I am reading. A year ago I was reading every weightloss blog I could find and right now I rarely look at them except for my few favorites . I should take some time to update my blogroll so I don’t have to click links from my favorites file. We are enjoying the sunshine here ( I even burnt my nose) going for daily walks as a family and sitting on the front deck. That is my favorite place to have a cup of coffee , read a book or chat on the phone. I cleaned it all up on the weekend so the little guy can sit out there with me and play. He would like to be outside ALL day long. For the most part life is very good around here and we have so much to be thankful for
Well it is March now and I made it through my exercise challenge for February. I am sure happy to be done it though. Not that I am not still working out but I need the freedom from “having” to do it. The scale says the exact same as it did on January 1st. BUT I do know that I have gotten stronger and toner in areas. I have been doing a DVD using weights that really makes a big difference. For March we are doing a different challenge as a family. We each get ONE hour of TV a week. It is hard. The evenings are fine but I am missing my morning news. I used mine up already watching the Biggest Loser. Good thing I had it on PVR so that between skipping commercials and a few slow parts I was able to watch the 2 hr episode in 1 hr. Makenna is done her time already but the boys are saving it up to have a little marathon I think. I LOVE PVR. Come April 1st I will be catching up on all my missed shows. Not that I really watch anything besides Village on a Diet , Biggest Loser and American Idol. School has been pretty good this last little while also . Partly because I am more organized , and partly because I am looking at things alittle different. My computer time lately has been taken up with reading homeschool stuff. Pictures will be soon to follow of some of our cool things. I am also trying to put together a few cool summer learning themes and John is working on some science experiments for our camping trips. We have new kittens , born on Feb 26th. The boys watched one being born and thought it was cool and gross at the same time. The cat curled up next to Braden and he said ” She has something hanging out of her butt!” Only 3 of the little ones which is good. Pictures to follow soon of them too. March is becoming my month of personal reflection I guess. Not sure how else to put it. Alot of heart searching going on , inner changes which will hopefully bring outward changes. My morning prayer everyday is ” Lord use me in my children’s lives today ” I want to be a better mom and to do that I need to be moldable and willing to make the changes God asks of me.
My goal for the next little while is to take the time to enjoy life. I have been so blessed with the life I have. I am able to stay home with me children , I am able to have a big part in my grandson’s life. I have the freedom to educate my children (any way I choose) . Our family is able to live our lives with little outside interference. Our worship , recreation , entertainment etc. is of our own chosing. So many people in the world do not have that. I really want to enjoy the life God blessed me with. Yes my kids can drive me nuts and yes I have outside stressors that affect me , school is not always easy and neither is raising our grandson but I know that I wouldn’t want to trade my life for anyone elses. Since I challenged myself physically this month I think I also need to challenge myself in other ways too. Starting the day right is my next challenge. Even as I write that I know that it is going to be much more challenging than working out everyday. I also know it will be more beneficial to my family . So this morning I set the alarm for 6:30 .Two of the kids also woke up then so I let them do something quiet while I had my devotions . The baby woke up so I had cuddle time then checked the computer , started laundry ,made the kids pancakes and got dressed in my workout clothes so that I can work out while the kids do math. I also skipped the coffee this morning and am having a cup of tea right now . I don’t want to set my self up for failure by trying to change too much but I am hoping this will help me in my attitude throughout the day. I found a routine that worked pretty well for us in the last few weeks so I am hoping to just tweak it a little bit at a time. Of course it is the end of February and not September so who knows how long it will last 😉 The scale is not moving at all , guess it is time to pay attention to my food choices more seriously. Otherwise it will be summer time and I will be the same weight that I was last year.